ROBERT JONES? WHAT HAPPENED TO BAUER?

Ok so here it is everyone, the story of my last name Jones.

My family was put on government watch in the early 80's to hide us from terrorists, thus giving us the name "Bauer." just kidding, not true, although it's much more cool than the actual reason we changed our name.

The actual reason is this....

part 1.. when my dad was about 5 years old, his father, (my grandpa Jones) divorced my grandma.

part 2...a few years later my grandma married some random guy named Fred Bauer. I have never met this guy, and my father doesn't even remember much of him.

part 3...For some reason my grandma thought it would be better to legally change my dad's name from Jones to Bauer. After the divorce i'm assuming she didn't like my grandpa Jones and didn't want anything to do with him, this included getting rid of my father's true birth name "Jones." My father was a bit too young to have a say in any of it, so they proceeded.

part 4....Years passed.....my grandma was in a car accident that paralyzed the right half of her body, (including the brain) and Fred Bauer left my grandma and my dad. They eventually got divorced.

part 5....Now my dad was a teenager and lived his life basically taking care of my paralyzed grandma who had a great physical recovery but mentally never quite got back to normal. Whenever he told her he planned on changing his last name back to Jones, she would respond, "Over my dead body!"

part 6.... Now to understand this part of the story you must know that my father was an only child. He could of easily just changed the name back to Jones whenever he wanted but he decided he would wait until she died or went senile. He did this out of respect for her.

part 7....Many years later after my father married and had children (me) my father chose a time that was good for all of us. We proceeded to legally change our name to Jones. I knew my whole life that my real last name was Jones, I also knew that we'd eventually be changing it.

the end.

I have told variations of this story thousands of times but yet people still can't seem to understand it. I once had an old acquaintance from high school ask me if Jones was my stage name, this was after I had explained him the story already. But what makes me real mad is the ignorant people that look at me like I'm an idiot for changing my name just to keep up with the Jones'

That is why I present my balls for all you condescending persons to suck.